The true antidote cannot be found in alcohol, chocolate, daytime TV, sex, gambling, shopping, drugs, baking and eating the whole cake, duvet diving or being mean to someone, or towards yourself.
The true antidote is acceptance: acceptance of the feelings and acceptance of yourself in this moment. When you accept what you are feeling, by definition you accept yourself. And this, my friend, will help to shift your state.
You won’t always feel like this, but if you resist the feelings and tell yourself you shouldn’t be having them, and you try to deny them by covering them up with the aforementioned techniques, they won’t go away. They’ll be back to bite you in the bum when you’re not looking and you’ll wonder why you feel low in energy, or tight in your shoulders, or generally heavy in your being.
Welcome the feelings; each and every one. Don’t beat yourself up about having them and don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect; acknowledge how you feel and accept yourself; your feelings are here to tell you something and if you were just to take the time to listen, to breathe into them, to ask why they’re here, you will be able to heal.
And then you’ll find that it becomes easier to be who you are, in your skin, because you can take whatever you feel and live through it, by engaging instead of avoiding.
And then who knows what will happen? You might have an important realisation; you might just decide to take it a little easier, have a bath, light a candle, tuck yourself up with a good book or a hot water bottle. Take care of yourself and then, it may become easier…being you.
Gloria Garner
19 Apr 2014 11:21 amI saw a bumper sticker the other day that read, “DON’T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK.”
cathy Rowlandson
19 Apr 2014 1:20 pmYes, it’s true, I am doing just that and it is the only way to keep coming up for air amidst the stress and issues that I’m facing right now. Thanks for writing it down so succinctly Sahera, and it’s not easy, it takes effort committment, letting go of the attractive allure of playing victim, and willingness to surrender to that which you cannot change and have no power over. Keep writing and sharing your wisdom.
Pam Barmby
18 Nov 2014 7:45 amThis is lovely Sahera, it’s been a couple of months since I have taken the time to read your blog and I am glad this is the first one that popped up. However, would you consider recording your words so that people have the choice to read them or listen to them? I love hearing the tone of someone’s voice and the pace with which something is read, and would prefer to listen to you than to read.
Sahera Chohan
19 Nov 2014 1:27 pmDear Pam, I will consider that – I’m going to be refreshing the website, and may well look into having Podcasts of the Blogs I write. Thank you for the suggestion. With love, Sahera