In fact the opposite is true. Surrender is a conscious and definitive action which if practiced, leads to freedom and peace of mind.
Surrender is giving up our expectations of how things should be. When we expect or demand a certain result we are operating from a standpoint of control rather than surrender.
When you surrender to how things actually are, to the reality of your life as it is, you become empowered, not disempowered. You can make choices based on reality, rather than expending your time and energy on wishing things were different. You can move forwards in a state of acceptance, learning and growing from life instead of fighting it. However if you resist, you stay stuck in your own ego about how things should be, trying to control situations that cannot be controlled.
There is a reason why you are going through what you are going through, a higher purpose that perhaps you cannot see or understand at this time, but there is a reason. Otherwise it wouldn’t be happening! And in my experience, it’s here to teach you something and that is a good thing even if you don’t really want the lesson. Alex Noble expresses it so succinctly:
When my late husband died fourteen years ago, I found it hard to surrender to that reality. I kept asking why; why did this happen, and why did it happen to me. A friend I was staying with at the time simply said, “you have a big purpose Sahera, even though you don’t yet see it”.
Over the years I have come to see how his death has formed me into the person I am today. I certainly think my writing has evolved from the journey I have been on since he died and my creativity has been tapped in a way inconceivable to me before his passing. I don’t fear things as much as I used to. I take more risks and live life with a spirit of adventure and gratitude, because I know it does not last long.
When we surrender, we are willing to receive something that is being offered to us by life, perhaps a new way of being and living. If we turn our backs to that, we risk losing the potential gift that is on offer. And there is always a gift.
Today, actively surrender to what is happening in your life, right now. Even if you don’t like it, don’t want it, can’t see the point of it, out loud, say “I accept things in my life just as they are”. Notice what you feel as you do this. You may feel calmer, stronger, less angst-ridden.
Try practicing this daily, several times a day if you need to, for 7 days. Surrender is making plans, utilizing our intelligence and capacities but not being attached to the fruits of those actions. So let go of your ideas of how things should turn out and engage with what shows up. The more you practice this, the more you’ll find your stress levels will reduce and your serenity will increase.
I leave you with this great quote:
The world is won by those who let it go.
But when you try and try, the world is beyond the winning.”Lao Tzu