So, not to have written for some months is beginning to irk me; I’ve been waking up feeling uncomfortable about it for some time, and as I go through my day, the thought enters my mind that I should be writing, (notice the word ‘should’).
When I tell myself I ‘should’, I’m bound not to do it. I am a rebel to my inner demands – tell me to do something, and I’ll find something else to do. I’ve always been that way, and I’ve now come to accept and rather like this part of my character!
So this morning I awoke at 4.30am – I have a lot going on at the moment, with work, relationships, the usual! As I lay in bed making mental lists of all the things I need to do in preparation for a busy work week, including a trip to the US next weekend, I decided to get up, stop thinking and start doing.
It’s rather wonderful being up with the birds, savouring that quiet time when the world has not roused itself into action. After washing dishes listening to the BBC World Service, I went back to my bed to meditate, and have quiet time with God. Of course, the tentacles of anxiety began to crawl into my mind, as often happens when I sit to meditate. So I prayed. I asked God to remove from me the anxiety and fear I have about not writing again, about not getting my book published, about others getting on with their lives and being successful, whereas I’m just doing dishes, and if I’m just doing dishes, well, I’ll never amount to anything will I, and on and on and on the mind went. No wonder I felt anxiety and fear listening to that! Truly, it is not very motivating, beating ourselves into action!
As I prayed, I remembered what one of my friends said to me a couple of months ago, when I was sharing with her that it felt like I’d lost my mojo where writing is concerned.
“Do the next right thing Sahera”, she simply said.
“Ok, what does that look like?” I asked.
“Ask to be shown what to do next. If you don’t have the long-term plan, and you don’t know if or when you’ll return to writing, ask your Higher Power for guidance to do the next right thing, put it in God’s hands, and see what happens.”
Well guess what. I did that this very morning, and sure enough, the inspiration came to me instantly, to write about doing the next right thing. So here I am, it’s 6.01am and I’m writing, and, in my mind, I’m doing the next right thing.
When you’re in doubt about your life, where it’s going, and what to do, spend some time in quiet, with whatever it is you choose to call your Higher Power, your God, your Guidance, or simply Love, and ask to be shown your next step.
“God, help me to do the next right thing”. Then trust you will be shown the way. Practice this several times a day when in doubt as to your next step. In my experience, it works.
I’m off to have breakfast now.
Love in Connection.